For Thursday – May 30th 2013.
Between Us Only!
Ending Relationships in Life!
- I propose that we abandon our relations entirely. I shall lose nothing by it, for my own emotional tie with you has long been a thin thread – the lingering effects of past disappointments – Letter from Dr. Freud to Discipline Jung in association relationships breakup in 1913.
- It is not you – it is all me! – Famous Break Up Line!
Image Dr. Freud and Jung – 1913.
Life is about making choices – sometimes you are required to make extremely hard and difficult decisions in your options – stick to one and move forward in your life now in that direction – and fight as best as you can – even against great odds – not to waver or change! It is not an easy thing to do – but you know deep down in your heart – and in deep self-analysis and review – in deep conscience analysis – that this is the only right path and thing to do now!
There are many circumstances that can bring your life to a jolt that you need to make that brave decision now in your life! You might have suspected or even known for a long time that the person is not your real friend – or is not in your true interests, intentions and well-being – but you have been going along because you are impotent and weak to make the brave and courageous decision to break this relationship for good!
It maybe you had trusted this person so much to have been on your side – but all the time he was working against you from the inside – or even in front of you – but the eyes cannot see; the ears cannot hear; and the mouth cannot even speak out. You end as the person most blind, deaf and mute – and end as a trusting stupid incompetent bumbling stupid person – who has failed miserably in life to stand for oneself – and those that have relied and depended on you for doing the right, correct, ethical and professional thing – even if the repercussions could be dangerous and harmful to one. The question then props in – Are you a man or a mouse?
Images – Breaking Relationships – Most hard and painful!
Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!
A long time ago, when I was a kid – my late father – let him rest in peace – was introducing me to what he thought was his close business friend and associate! My father hardly spoke any English – and this man was insulting my father in front of my very eyes! As a kid, I was so scared of my father that I never dared to tell him this!
At this time also – my poor father had taken the wrong side in life by not supporting the locals there in their hopes and aspirations to become independent from the colonial masters – and he was very close in friendships to the much despised and hated then colonial DC – District Commissioner!
Images Relationships! – For Demonstration Purposes Only!
Wherever this DC moved – people had to stop doing everything they were doing and stand up. I was playing marbles with my friends – and continued playing and ignoring him – whilst my friends froze to death in their tracks! The DC wanted to know who this boy belonged to? When he was told it was my father – he told me – You are lucky that you are your father’s son – otherwise you would see what would have happened to you today!
That night my father reprimanded me – and for the first time in his life he showed me his true wisdom and pragmatism. He said to me – I understand what that man said to you. But so what? Do not think that what I am doing is not wrong – but I gain more by being his friend (DC) than by going against him. I am also able to sell more of my things in the shop than the other shopkeepers – even if their shops are more stocked and bigger than mine. I feel the air – and if I see the changes coming that will make me need to change – believe me I will change too fast – even if it will be very hard, challenging and difficult in the beginning! But change I will – I assure you!
Whilst he (DC) is still here – he will still be my friend. The friendship works for both of us meanwhile – he needs me – and I need him! He may think I am a gullible, stupid, naive and unsuspecting person – but I could say the same things to him! So the next time he comes around – there is no harm to stop playing – and going with the tide!
Remember he cautioned – going against the tide will drown you! Even if I have inside me full contempt and ridicule of the person – I will not show it to him openly – because I will end as the bigger loser! And why do it – when things are working out for me – by going this route? I will remain on this route as far as is bearable and tolerable!
Images Relationships – For Demonstration Purposes Only!
I never appreciated much what my poor dad had told me until further far more years in life when in Secondary School and we learnt about Okonkwo in Things Fall Apart! by Chinua Achebe – the great Author – who had died was buried recently! Then I realised how pragmatic, smart and intelligent my late father really was!
When the wind for change came in – my late father was the local council member looking after food in the place’s Independence celebrations – now their friend too! He had changed sides with the strong forces of change! Sadly, I never put this in practise in my career life – though my pragmatic peers did – and my misfortune in life! Mistakenly, I thought being transparent, frank and open was a better option for me!
In one of the films I saw long time back, these villages in Europe were hoisting the flags of the conquering and invading Nazi Germany! When the Allied Forces came in – they waved their flags instead – with exception of one ‘slow’ person who still had the Nazi flag – but harm was prevented to him when it was realised it was so. He was a happier person to get new colour flags – and that tells a very big story here of what really is at stake in life! And in relationships!
These things go down to even a lower level in our own lives – in our personal lives and associations too! The other day a good relative of ours came to our house – and so how granny was playing around with his grandchildren. Then he said to me – You are a lucky person – but you do not know it really! You see for me though I have grandchildren too – but I just woke up one day and I had decided then to end the relationships with my wife after 35 years of marriage.
Image – Ending of Relationships!
He says to me – All this time I was naive and dreamful that she would change one day – but change she never did! It was no point in continuing the relationships any further – but I had to be strong willed and determined not to waver and change – though the temptations came many times to do so – I tell you! Any regrets I ask him? He retorts – Only like now seeing you playing with your grandchildren – and all as one in the family!
May Allah God Always Guide and Direct us to the right path and way – Amin – Amen
By Majid Al Suleimany