The Marriage Proposal!

 

 The Marriage Proposal!

Proposal B

For Wednesday September 18th 2013

 Between Us Only!

The Marriage Proposal!

Or From The Pampers To The Wedding Dress!

If friendship is your weakest point then you are the strongest person in the world – Abraham Lincoln

There is something quite definite about our (late) parents that though they are not that highly educated – but they are more smart, intelligent and wiser than what we are – and ever hope to be in life! As time goes by – the graph will only take a more dip downwards than the status quo!

Long time ago – when I was showing the plot and drawings of my villa in Qorum Heights – the small villa but with the big heart – my late father was lamenting that he does not see a spare bedroom in the sketch! So I asked him – what for dad? You mean for the guests? No – he sadly lamented – just in case for one of your daughters – if she decides to return home!

Marriage Prop AProposal C

Images – The Wedding Propsal  – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

Though they are not really for us – to be with us forever – still the daughters are our responsibilities – even after long they have got married – and have children too! Then I recalled the incidents when my late sister used to come back home – and nobody had asked her anything – until she was cooler and calmer – and now was ready and wanted to talk! A few days she herself would return to her husband – on her own too!

One of my friends and peer at work at one time had invited me to the coming wedding of his son. As we sat talking – he was lamenting to me that if you do not learn from others experiences – then God will teach you instead! So I could see the man was highly stringed and troubled – and wanted to talk! So I prompted and encouraged him to go on and to do so!

So the poor man broke down – and he narrated to me that his son was going to get married to an offspring that came out of two groupings of people that – putting it rather mildly – he was ‘not too keen with’!  That is God’s mysterious ways of giving you Life’s Teachings! The man used to boast to me how in his job pursuits he used to make ‘special attention’ to these two groups – and where it would go on okay with anyone else – but with the exception of them!

Proposal D

Images – The Wedding Propsal  – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

A great sign of great leadership is seeing something with your own eyes – and you acting upon it immediately afterwards. It is said that the Great Prophet PBUH was passing one day – and he heard a woman singing sadly  to herself that she was ‘missing her husband’ – who had gone off to the wars then!  So a rotation system was introduced instead – to bring some of the men back home!

This happened to me too this week! I was outside the housemaid room – and I thought I heard crying! So next morning – as diplomatically and tactfully that I could muster – I asked her – what gives! Bear with me for awhile – but it will be clear at the end of this article – as to why the poor lady was crying too!

Anyway – this week I had received a ‘high powered’ delegation coming to ask for ‘the hand of my last daughter! Like any other father – I was torn between seeing her go away from the home – and seeing that my daughter was moving on with her life – and after starting work on completion of her Engineering Degree in the UK! For a girl to take such a field – and to be able to work in the desert locations – is in itself a great example and demonstration how far ahead and developed Oman has become now!

With people reporting to her – who were all ‘born and bred’ males – but modernity had caught up with us! As a person in HR – I recall many incidents of the so-called ‘stout and strong minded real men’ – who had refused to formally report to the fairer sex – until and unless the ‘books were thrown’ at them! Those were our old ways – we now have even their Excellencies the Ministers too!

They say the world is a small place – because you never know whom you will meet later in life – or need from that someone! Even if you think that you are rich and powerful – and ‘nothing can ever touch you’ – as in the last week’s article – The Sealed Fates in Life! You may think someone is insignificant and unimportant – and then you are forced to eat your own words – whether by mitigating circumstances and or by nature itself! Whether you like it or not – because events and fate have caught up with you now – and you are just helpless and impotent!

So I had a long chat with the Filipino housemaid. Then she told me – Oh Pappa – I came to Oman when MM was only one year old – today she has blossomed to be a fully fledged woman (girl) – and getting married too! From changing her pampers – to now assist her in wearing a bridal dress! How time flies – she sadly lamented! You know Pappa? Your above article last week made me think a lot – like many of your articles do!

My late father used to watch his grandchildren – and great grandchildren play! He used to ask us – Do you think they will remember and know each other (in the future)? So I used to tease back – Of course they will! You must be joking – my father sarcastically hit back – if even their parents ‘do not know each other now’ – how do you expect their children – and grandchildren – to remember! My later father never minced his words – calling ‘a spade a spade’!

I wished the old man was around – because he would see his granddaughter getting married now – and I will be keeping the room for her – just as he had advised! Though I am trying hard to resist in the temptation to convert it into an office – because I now use the dining room as also an office – books take a lot of the space – and the ‘friction cause and strife’ with Great Madam Wife – GMW – especially when guests are invited! Just gathering storm clouds – and for more storms coming ahead – unless I can get some money quickly now – for a much needed break! I have never been on a holiday break for the last 5 years!

My granddaughter was then saying to us – so Aunty MM is getting married now? Soon she will have babies – and what will they call me? We just look at her in ‘shock and awe’ – especially seeing she is just 5! Who is teaching them these things? Where do they learn such things? The mind just boggles….!

Gets scarier and scarier – by the day!

Take Care!

By: Majid Al-Suleimany

The Sob Stories!

 

Websites – www.majidall.com and www.majidwrite.com

For Wednesday September 11th 2013

Between Us Only!

The ‘Sob Stories’!

A growing trend that too needs to be nipped in the bud!

  • Whoever abstains from asking others for some financial help, Allah will give him and save him from asking others, Allah will make him self-sufficient – Al Bukhari
  • Abu Huraira related that the Prophet had said: He who makes a habit of asking from others reaches out for a brand of Fire, so let him refrain or continue, as he desires – Muslim.
  • Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day – Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a life time – Chinese Saying.

Sob 1Sob 3

Images Sob – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

In one of my earlier articles a few years ago – I wrote about this incident that had happened to us in the family after returning to the place we had left – and after the Zanzibar Revolution. Our uncle had been hosting us in his house to stay – which originally was our own house before – arriving there broke and penniless! Food was an issue due to depleted funds – and in one of the meals I had casually remarked – being a novice young boy without thinking properly – that I had enjoyed the food as being half hungry!

My late father was visibly upset in ‘forgetting myself and in embarrassing the family per se’! He sadly lamented to me – we come from a proud stock  and branch – and we do not stoop low or degrade ourselves in front of others – even if excusably that we are hungry and in need! Keep your head high – and these are tests from God – and we will overcome – and win!

Remember this always – my son! And that was my late father’s outlook and philosophy – though he rode the same donkey in Oman to school with others that later came to be very high VIPs! He had never in his life approached them for anything – and even if they had asked him if we needed anything – he would reply strongly steadfastly that ‘we were okay – thank you for asking!’

Sob Asob 2

Images Sob – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

One time at a shopping complex, I saw this old banger type of car – which speaks volumes of the expatriate driver of the car – he half clutched and abruptly started off the car – when he saw me approaching him! I followed him to the flat he was staying – and asked him why did you do that? His response was – I thought you were coming to beg some money from me ‘with a sob’ story – like many I have met at this place! So I told him off – all I wanted to tell you was you had your full lights beam on – being day time anyway! As he was apologising profusely – I decided to leave him – before I gave him ‘a real piece of my mind’! That is how low we the locals have stooped on – to vet such treatment – even from peoples that ‘have millions of beggars’ back at home!

During the month of Ramadhan we had women with children tailing behind them with all kinds of sob stories. The new trend is from Syria – but what boggles the mind is how they have entered the country – if they were real and genuine cases! It reminds me of the Arabic comedy scene of (Professor) Ghawar – asking the border police in the scene – why he was ‘not asking the goats’ crossing the border ‘for their passports’?

A friend of mine was telling me of one particular lady who had a difficult misbehaving son – who was causing her tremendous woe and troubles by his behaviours – even to his wife and children. The boy was terminated jobless with the same crude behaviour and attitudes at work! His wife had left him – taking the children with her. The poor mother was suffering terribly and a lot – mothers being mothers! Even if she knew deep down about her son! The poor lady was going from house to house to collect money to pay for the escapades of his son – perhaps even drugs related too!

Believe me, I am a softie for such sob stories – and I am caught many times that too late I have been scammed and duped – and have been fooled again! I asked a Religious Person once – he said to me – if you have the money and you want to help – just do it. You are not responsible for ‘the sins that the person is getting for hoodwinking others’ – that is not your responsibilities – but his alone! Some of them have even x-rays of why ‘they are disabled, invalid and incapacitated! Unless you are in the Medical profession – you just have to believe what you see!

When we came back to Oman in the early 1970s – this trend was not there – and even in isolated cases if there were – it was very tiny and minute – not like now ‘where is the fashion and trend – of getting fast and easy money from gullible and unsuspecting lots. And even if they were a bit suspicious – they still give for peace and conveniences – and seeing the ‘poor children’s eyes of desperation and need’!

What makes me worry a lot and be concerned – is perhaps we are ‘turning away real and genuine’ cases of need and want – by being overzealous sceptical and suspicious! I recall personally an incident of a taxi driver whose car had run out of petrol on the road. I was the only one who had stopped. And the few Rials I gave him – I gave more as ‘sadaka’ – alms – but the shock was on me and my sneering sarcastic staff the next day – when he brought a big plate of halwa and his farm produce – ‘because you were the only person who had stopped, trusted and helped me!

My books and my columns have many such kind of stories! Take Care!

By: Majid Al-Suleimany

 Date – September 8th 2013